What Matters Most

It's been 3 weeks since I arrived in Peru. Since then I've met more people than I can count, eaten some of the most delicious food there is to be tasted, experienced the responsibilities that come with being a first time teacher, worked on a construction site, killed two scorpions, and seen God answer prayers in ways I needed it most. While my transition has been fairly easy, it still presents inevitable challenges, but not physical, or cultural challenges necessarily, though those are unavoidable.  I found the biggest challenge to be within myself. A battle of what to believe. "Can I really do this?" You have no experience. "Will they like me?" Everyone has told you how tough these kids are going to be. "What if I mess up? Terribly?" Don't be surprised when you fail. But God patiently- and repeatedly- battles for my thoughts by reminding me, "I've called you here for a purpose." "Love them like I have loved you, despite their reactions." "I will give you strength. I will work through you." When I look solely at myself, my capabilities, my experience, my strength, the task before me is overwhelmingly scary. But I'm quickly learning that fear conquers little.
What I thought mattered most was doing a good job, being a good teacher. Successfully taking over a position and not disappointing my superiors. Running an impeccable program that the school (and I) could be proud of. Bad desires? No. But what really matters most? Galatians 1:10 "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." I'm afraid to fail because I'm afraid to look bad. I'm afraid I'll be embarrassed in front of peers, and teachers, and parents. But, what matters most is that my life, my job, my attitude, my efforts, my relationships- absolutely everything- honors Christ, and is motivated by Christ. If I do that, I cannot fail. Sure, perhaps the unit I planned on baseball turns out to be a disaster, but will my students see Christ reflected in me? Will they see a God that truly loves them? That's my purpose. That's my goal. That's my motivation. And that's what matters most.